Jump-Start a Car

Jump-Start a Car

Tools: Jumper cables, good Samaritan

1. Shut off the running car's engine and pop both cars' hoods.

2. Remove the rubber caps protecting the terminals atop each battery. Identify the positive and negative terminals. (If the + and — symbols have been obscured somehow, note that the negative terminal is almost always connected directly to the car's frame by a short, black cable. The positive terminal is usually connected by several colored cables to various parts of the engine.)

3. Connect the jumper cables in this order: dead-battery positive to good-battery positive; good-battery negative to the engine block or frame of the dead-battery car. (Connect to raw metal only, not painted or otherwise coated.)

4. Start the good car and let it run for about five minutes, then try to start the dead car. If this fails, try again in another five minutes. If it still doesn't work, the battery is beyond help. Call a tow truck.

5. Disconnect the cables in the reverse order that you connected them.

Make Pancakes from Scratch

Make Pancakes from Scratch

Ingredients

• 2 cups all-purpose flour

• 2 ½ tsp baking powder

• ½ tsp salt

• 1 egg, beaten lightly

• 1 ½ cups milk

• 2 tbsp butter, melted

Sift together first three ingredients (to prevent lumps).

In a separate bowl, mix egg and milk, then add it to flour mix, stirring until just smooth. Then stir in butter.

If you want to mix it up, throw in blueberries, a tiny dice of apple, or bits of banana.

Grease a griddle or nonstick pan with cooking spray or a little vegetable oil.

Heat pan on medium for about ten minutes.

Pour batter to form pancakes of whatever size you like.

Cook first side until bubbles form on top, about three minutes; then flip and cook other side until it, too, is brown, about two minutes.

Serve immediately with butter and syrup or hold briefly in warm oven.

Serves four.

How to Parallel Park

How to Parallel Park (Like a Man)

1. Pull your car alongside the car in front of your space so you're two feet away from it, your front bumpers aligned. Put your foot on the brake and the car in reverse.

2. Lift your foot off the brake — even goose the gas if you want — while palming the wheel hard toward the curb. You want the angle to be sharp but not ridiculously sharp.

3. Once the back of your seat is aligned with the rear bumper of the other car, begin swinging the steering wheel away from the curb.

4. Straighten out. Your car should now, as though by magic, be about six inches from the curb, and parallel to it. You might have to creep forward, but if you've followed the steps one through three, all you’ll have to do is exit your car, face nearby pedestrians — they’ve probably stopped to applaud — and perform the Pete Weber Crotch Chop by twice striking the inside of your thighs with karate hands.

Console a Crying Woman

Console a Crying Woman

1. Keep a handkerchief on your person. A clean one, since it's not for you. It's for the crying woman.

2. When you encounter the crying woman (and she needs to be sobbing as if she's been hurt — never approach a woman who is merely weeping or teary), approach her as if you're advancing on a wounded animal that might still be able to bite — slowly, thoughtfully. Pull out the handkerchief.

3. Say: "I'm sorry to disturb you, but is there anything I can do to help?"

4. Whether she responds or not, offer the still-folded handkerchief. Point out that it's clean. This should make her laugh.

5. If she hasn't yet told you to go away (and if she tells you to go away, do so immediately), ask what you might specifically be able to do: stay with her, call the police, listen to her problems, tap dance.

6. Proceed according to her wishes until she says she's fine. Tell her to keep the hanky.

Sew a Button

Sew a Button

Tools: Needle, thread

1. Take twelve inches of thread, knotted securely at one end, and thread your needle. Make a single stitch in the shirt in line with the row of buttons, about ⅛ inch long, and then make another stitch perpendicular to the first.

2. Hold the button about ⅛ inch away from the shirt and thread the needle up through one hole in the button and down the diagonally opposite hole. Do the same with the other holes and then repeat four times.

3. Wrap the thread tightly around the ⅛-inch shank that has been created between the button and the cloth to create a tight pillar.

4. Push the needle through this pillar a few times and cut the thread close to it.

5. Button up.

Google Efficiently

Google Efficiently

• Save time by typing in "gogle.com," instead of "google.com." Google automatically directs you to its site. Those milliseconds add up, people. In the time it takes you to type that extra o, you could already be enjoying a reggae version of Christian Bale's rant.

• Go to "Preferences" and change the default display to one hundred results instead of the usual ten. This is a huge time-saver. You don't have to click "Next" — you just scroll down.

• Finally, the book search, which I believe is the most underutilized Google feature. Whatever the topic, search the books and you'll find dozens of relevant passages (highlighted in yellow!). If you're writing an e-mail or making a presentation, it makes you seem educated. And as professor Tara Brabazon says in her book The University of Google, education is... well, why don't you just Google it?

Make Eggs Four Ways

Make Eggs Four Ways

Scrambled: Crack three eggs into a bowl. Add a dash of salt and pepper and a tablespoon of milk. Whisk till extra fluffy, about twenty seconds. Heat pan with butter over medium heat and add eggs. Once they begin to solidify (about twenty seconds), start to softly scramble with a spatula. After another twenty seconds or so, when the eggs are two thirds of the way cooked but still wet, move pan to a cold burner and stir until barely cooked through.

Baked: Place a six-inch cast-iron skillet (lightly coated with olive oil) in oven and preheat to 375 degrees. Once oven is fully heated, remove skillet and add tomatoes or asparagus or bacon. Sausage or day-old brisket is even better. Brown lightly for a couple minutes, then crack in two eggs and add a dash of salt and pepper. Place back in oven for about five minutes.

Poached: Bring a pot of water to a light boil, then add one capful of white vinegar. Crack an egg into a cup. Lightly stir the water to get it moving in one direction, then carefully pour egg from cup into the center of the pot. After about two minutes, retrieve egg with a slotted spoon and drain on a paper towel.

Sunny-Side Up: Crack eggs into a generously buttered pan over low-medium heat. (If you have leftover bacon grease, that's even better.) Once whites are formed, about three minutes, spoon some excess butter or fat onto the yolk to lightly cook the top for one minute. Remove once the edges of the egg begin to get crispy.