Jump-Start a Car

Jump-Start a Car

Tools: Jumper cables, good Samaritan

1. Shut off the running car's engine and pop both cars' hoods.

2. Remove the rubber caps protecting the terminals atop each battery. Identify the positive and negative terminals. (If the + and — symbols have been obscured somehow, note that the negative terminal is almost always connected directly to the car's frame by a short, black cable. The positive terminal is usually connected by several colored cables to various parts of the engine.)

3. Connect the jumper cables in this order: dead-battery positive to good-battery positive; good-battery negative to the engine block or frame of the dead-battery car. (Connect to raw metal only, not painted or otherwise coated.)

4. Start the good car and let it run for about five minutes, then try to start the dead car. If this fails, try again in another five minutes. If it still doesn't work, the battery is beyond help. Call a tow truck.

5. Disconnect the cables in the reverse order that you connected them.

Make Pancakes from Scratch

Make Pancakes from Scratch

Ingredients

• 2 cups all-purpose flour

• 2 ½ tsp baking powder

• ½ tsp salt

• 1 egg, beaten lightly

• 1 ½ cups milk

• 2 tbsp butter, melted

Sift together first three ingredients (to prevent lumps).

In a separate bowl, mix egg and milk, then add it to flour mix, stirring until just smooth. Then stir in butter.

If you want to mix it up, throw in blueberries, a tiny dice of apple, or bits of banana.

Grease a griddle or nonstick pan with cooking spray or a little vegetable oil.

Heat pan on medium for about ten minutes.

Pour batter to form pancakes of whatever size you like.

Cook first side until bubbles form on top, about three minutes; then flip and cook other side until it, too, is brown, about two minutes.

Serve immediately with butter and syrup or hold briefly in warm oven.

Serves four.

How to Parallel Park

How to Parallel Park (Like a Man)

1. Pull your car alongside the car in front of your space so you're two feet away from it, your front bumpers aligned. Put your foot on the brake and the car in reverse.

2. Lift your foot off the brake — even goose the gas if you want — while palming the wheel hard toward the curb. You want the angle to be sharp but not ridiculously sharp.

3. Once the back of your seat is aligned with the rear bumper of the other car, begin swinging the steering wheel away from the curb.

4. Straighten out. Your car should now, as though by magic, be about six inches from the curb, and parallel to it. You might have to creep forward, but if you've followed the steps one through three, all you’ll have to do is exit your car, face nearby pedestrians — they’ve probably stopped to applaud — and perform the Pete Weber Crotch Chop by twice striking the inside of your thighs with karate hands.

Console a Crying Woman

Console a Crying Woman

1. Keep a handkerchief on your person. A clean one, since it's not for you. It's for the crying woman.

2. When you encounter the crying woman (and she needs to be sobbing as if she's been hurt — never approach a woman who is merely weeping or teary), approach her as if you're advancing on a wounded animal that might still be able to bite — slowly, thoughtfully. Pull out the handkerchief.

3. Say: "I'm sorry to disturb you, but is there anything I can do to help?"

4. Whether she responds or not, offer the still-folded handkerchief. Point out that it's clean. This should make her laugh.

5. If she hasn't yet told you to go away (and if she tells you to go away, do so immediately), ask what you might specifically be able to do: stay with her, call the police, listen to her problems, tap dance.

6. Proceed according to her wishes until she says she's fine. Tell her to keep the hanky.

Sew a Button

Sew a Button

Tools: Needle, thread

1. Take twelve inches of thread, knotted securely at one end, and thread your needle. Make a single stitch in the shirt in line with the row of buttons, about ⅛ inch long, and then make another stitch perpendicular to the first.

2. Hold the button about ⅛ inch away from the shirt and thread the needle up through one hole in the button and down the diagonally opposite hole. Do the same with the other holes and then repeat four times.

3. Wrap the thread tightly around the ⅛-inch shank that has been created between the button and the cloth to create a tight pillar.

4. Push the needle through this pillar a few times and cut the thread close to it.

5. Button up.

Google Efficiently

Google Efficiently

• Save time by typing in "gogle.com," instead of "google.com." Google automatically directs you to its site. Those milliseconds add up, people. In the time it takes you to type that extra o, you could already be enjoying a reggae version of Christian Bale's rant.

• Go to "Preferences" and change the default display to one hundred results instead of the usual ten. This is a huge time-saver. You don't have to click "Next" — you just scroll down.

• Finally, the book search, which I believe is the most underutilized Google feature. Whatever the topic, search the books and you'll find dozens of relevant passages (highlighted in yellow!). If you're writing an e-mail or making a presentation, it makes you seem educated. And as professor Tara Brabazon says in her book The University of Google, education is... well, why don't you just Google it?

Make Eggs Four Ways

Make Eggs Four Ways

Scrambled: Crack three eggs into a bowl. Add a dash of salt and pepper and a tablespoon of milk. Whisk till extra fluffy, about twenty seconds. Heat pan with butter over medium heat and add eggs. Once they begin to solidify (about twenty seconds), start to softly scramble with a spatula. After another twenty seconds or so, when the eggs are two thirds of the way cooked but still wet, move pan to a cold burner and stir until barely cooked through.

Baked: Place a six-inch cast-iron skillet (lightly coated with olive oil) in oven and preheat to 375 degrees. Once oven is fully heated, remove skillet and add tomatoes or asparagus or bacon. Sausage or day-old brisket is even better. Brown lightly for a couple minutes, then crack in two eggs and add a dash of salt and pepper. Place back in oven for about five minutes.

Poached: Bring a pot of water to a light boil, then add one capful of white vinegar. Crack an egg into a cup. Lightly stir the water to get it moving in one direction, then carefully pour egg from cup into the center of the pot. After about two minutes, retrieve egg with a slotted spoon and drain on a paper towel.

Sunny-Side Up: Crack eggs into a generously buttered pan over low-medium heat. (If you have leftover bacon grease, that's even better.) Once whites are formed, about three minutes, spoon some excess butter or fat onto the yolk to lightly cook the top for one minute. Remove once the edges of the egg begin to get crispy.

How to Fillet a Fish

How to Fillet a Fish

So you've got a dead fish, a knife, and, well, you should have some gloves for this. Here's what comes next.

Step 1

Tools: Fillet knife, fillet gloves

Rinse the dead fish using ocean or purified water — tap makes it taste funky — and if you're going to cook it with the skin on, descale it using the dull edge of the fillet knife, scraping against the grain until the surface is smooth.

Step 2

Place the fish on its side on a sturdy table or board. Insert your knife near the top of the dorsal fin, just behind the head, stopping when you hit backbone. Then slice along the dorsal fin, holding the blade edge tight against the backbone, until you reach the tail. Turn the fish over on its other side and repeat.

Step 3

Starting just behind the head, slide your blade part of the way up the rib cage (at a slight upward angle) and cut through the skin while pulling the fillet away from the fish. Do not cut the skin where it is attached to the tail. Flip the fillet over so it lies flat on top of the tail (skin side down) and at the edge of your table.

Step 4

With your knife parallel to the top of the table, slide the blade along the bottom of the fillet using downward pressure and separate the meat from the skin. Remove as much of the red meat as possible without destroying the white meat (i.e., the part you eat). Repeat with the other side.

How to Fell a Tree

How to Fell a Tree

Because we love the environment, but sometimes nature blocks your view — and sometimes trees die. Just make sure your standing in the right place when axe comes to wood.

Tools: Chain saw, protective eyewear, comfortable shoes

1. Determine the direction of fall, remembering that a leaning tree gives you no choice in the matter. Plan a path of retreat for when the tree begins to come down and clear any obstacles in that path. Make your first cut parallel to the ground, a third of the way into the tree on the side facing the direction of fall.

2. Make a second cut downward from above at a 60-degree angle, stopping when you meet the first cut. Remove the wedge of wood thus formed. This is the face cut, and it will guide the tree as it topples.

3. Move to the opposite side of the trunk. With your blade parallel to the ground and positioned one to two inches above the bottom of the face cut, saw horizontally into the trunk but not all the way. Your aim is to leave a "hinge" — a strip of uncut trunk about an inch thick and parallel to the back of the face cut. The hinge keeps the tree from twisting and kicking back as it falls.

4. As you complete the hinge, the tree will likely begin to topple. Switch off the saw and make your retreat. Don't run and don't turn around to watch. Once you hear the thud, it's safe to stop and look.

How to Give Her the Most Spectacular Foot Massage Ever

How to Give Her the Most Spectacular Foot Massage Ever

Master this toe-curling, nine-step process and she'll be yours forever.

Considering that a massage from our expert, massage therapist Trista Thorp of the Golden Door Spa in California, takes over an hour, there was no way we could capture all of her techniques in the magazine. We can't do it here, either, but at least we can offer you a few more.

1. Make her a Thai footbath. Slice up half a lime and put it in a bowl of warm water. Rest her feet in the water while you rub the bottoms of them with the other half of the lime, using it as a scrubber. The acid helps extract toxins, and the warm water will soften her feet and help her relax.

2. Take a hand towel and soak it in the footbath. Hold the towel above her knee, and, without letting it touch her leg, let the water drip down her calf and foot. Pat dry after one of you gets bored.

3. Gently holding her feet, rotate her ankles clockwise and then counterclockwise. Rotate each toe the same way, pulling gently on each.

4. After applying lotion, take one foot in both hands and walk your thumbs back and forth over the soles of her feet. Push deep with your thumbs, working the pressure points.

5. Directly beneath the ball of her foot, move your thumbs in semicircles, working back and forth horizontally.

6. Starting with your thumbs on opposite sides of her sole, slide them toward each other and to the opposite side of her foot. Move slightly down and bring them back. Continue until you reach her heel.

7. Interlace your fingers, resting them on the top of her foot with your thumbs on her sole. Slide your hands up and down over the whole foot, applying pressure with your thumbs.

8. Place your fingertips in the channels between each metatarsal (those are the long bones on the top of the foot), gently sliding all four fingers up and down between them.

9. Starting at the outside of her ankle, find where the muscle meets the bone. Glide your thumb along this line all the way up her shin, applying slight pressure.

How to Give a Good Massage

How to Give a Good Massage

Forget the two-minute guilt-trip massage. She deserves a full forty-five minutes of pleasure. So says a woman who knows.

• Squeeze a dime-sized amount of oil into your palm, warming it by rubbing it between your hands. (Repeat as needed.) Start at the shoulders, squeezing them and the back of the neck before working down each arm, all the way to the fingertips, massaging the skin and muscles by kneading, squeezing, and gently pinching between your thumb and fingers.

• After the arms, start back at the neck and work your way down the lower back in horizontal blocks. Make circular, clockwise motions, using the same massage techniques as on the arms but adding the heel of your hand for larger areas.

• Finish up by using the palm of your hand to work the entire buttock area. The whole thing should ideally take about forty-five minutes, not counting any eventual reciprocity.

How to Bet the Horses

How to Bet the Horses

On the eve of the Kentucky Derby, take some well-earned lessons from veteran gambler Tom Chiarella, the whole Clive-Owen-spent-all-my-money thing aside

As my long-lost friend Hambo told me on my first trip to Saratoga, New York, in August of 1982: "Every time you go to the track, learn two things you never forget.

" Lesson 1: Keep it simple. If you don't understand a bet, block it out. Avoid the Pick 4, the Pick 6, the wheels, the boxes, even the relatively tame daily doubles. And forget reading the racing form, which is too brilliantly ornate and dense with competing information for the apprentice mind. Buy a tip sheet instead and study it until something clicks.

Lesson 2: Make two simple bets. A twenty-dollar "straight bet" on a single horse (say, the 6 horse — bet your horses by number, not names) to win.

It's the classiest bet you can make, emanating confidence and sure-handedness.

Then try an exacta, in which you pick two horses to finish first and second. Do this for two bucks. And try not to care too much when you win ninety bucks on a 3 — 6 exacta.

Just relax and remember that getting lucky is not in any way a lesson in itself.

How to Hit a Wild Animal

How to Hit a Wild Animal

1. If it's a deer, hit it. You're more likely to be hurt if you accidentally veer into oncoming traffic or a tree.

2. Aim carefully. Slam on the brakes and aim for where it's coming from, not where it's going. Right before impact, ease up on the brakes, raising the front of your car slightly.

3. If it's a moose, duck. A twelve-hundred-pound moose will wreck your car. If there's absolutely no safe place to swerve, hunker down as low as possible, because a hit moose will often crash down on your roof.

How to Skin a Moose

How to Skin a Moose

Here's how to make a butcher's shop out of your backyard in four easy steps.

Tools: Hunting knife, block and tackle with spreader bar and butcher’s hooks

1. Track, kill, gut, and behead the animal.

2. Hang your block and tackle from a very sturdy tree. With your hunting knife, pierce the animal’s rear legs just above the hocks and behind the sturdy tendon. Thread the hooks through the holes, attach them to the spreader bar, and hoist the carcass just high enough that it’s completely off the ground.

3. Make a single, shallow cut through the skin of each rear leg, trying not to cut into the muscle, from the pelvic region up to the hock. Make a circular cut around the leg at that point; then, working down the leg, peel off the skin like a sock, scraping with the knife and pushing with your fists.

4. Next, loosen the skin from the body, working from the belly toward the spine. Then skin the front legs as you did the rear ones. Lastly, free the skin from the neck with a firm downward pull.

Make Wine at Home

Make Wine at Home: Easy and Cheap Home Made Red Wine Recipe

I always had the desire to enjoy drinking something I made myself. Did a lot of researching on how to make wine at home and all I got was wine making methods which was meant to be executed in the USA which uses things like wine fermenter kit, hydro meters, capdem tablets and those kind of stuff which you don’t get here in India.

I wanted to prepare wine using just materials available in any standard Indian kitchen and not spending too much money. This search for the indianized wine making technique did not yield any results and I kept trying asking friends and relatives.
At last, I got the opportunity to talk to one pattima (old lady), mother of a good friend, who’s been making wine for years, got the recipe of ingredients, and proportions from her and she ran me through telephone the methodology, tips and tricks of the process. Within 2 hours of talking to her, I was all set to go!
This guide is for all you people out there, who like me, at least once, brew what you drink.
This guide will yield a minimum of 4 litres of wine. Caution: You need a lot of patience, You need to wait up to 42 days to get the wine ready and you will have to dedicate at least 2 minutes everyday till then to this process of making wine.

Ingredients:

Black Grapes: 1.5 Kgs
The grapes can be seedless, but definitely need to be black. There is a variety of grapes in which the inside is also black/dark brown, if you get that its good, if not the black grapes variety with dark green inside is also good

Sugar: 1.5 Kgs
Needs to be clean white sugar, try to get a good brand like parrys sugar which does not have any dirt or discoloration

Yeast: 15 grams
This you get in any spencer’s daily or any supermarket for that matter. Usually you would find it in the section where they stock essences, food colouring etc. It’s called “Activated dry yeast” , any brand and a small 25 gm packed would do (you need just 15 grams)

Whole wheat: 50 grams
Had a tough time getting this, all the supermarkets stock only 5 kg packets. Went to a normal palasarakku kadai (general provisions) and got it packed off.

Egg (just the white): 1
Veggies don’t get dejected. This is not really necessary. I was told this is just to create a good flavour. This can be skipped.

Water: 2.6 ltrs
purified water.

Materials / Tools Required:

Ceramic jar:
Big enough to hold 1.5 kgs of grapes + 2.6 lts of water + 1.5 kgs of sugar. Should have 20% free space after adding all this. Preferably must have a lid. Best bet is to use the oorga jaadi (ceramic pickle jar) or if you don’t have any ceramic jars, plastic or metal also would do. Should have a narrow opening because during fermentation, the vessel has to be airtight. So smaller the mouth, easier to seal

Wooden pestle / masher:
This is nothing but the lowly wooden tool your mom makes to smash potatoes or paalak / keerai. We will use to smash grapes

Long wooden spoon:
should be long enough to reach the bottom of your wine jar.

Love and Support: Any quantity
Along with all this interest and support from other family members to make the wine making experience a memorable one

All the ingredients and tools required

The basic ground rule in wine making is keeping things clean and sterile. This to ensure that the brew does not get contaminated with bacteria which may spoil the brew instead of allowing it to ferment. If the brew gets spoiled only thing you can do is to flush it down the drain.

Ready, Get Set:

1. Boil the water: Boil the water for at least 3-4 mins to make it as pure as possible and kill any bacteria or germs in it. After boiling let it cool. The water has to be back to room temperature before you can use it

2. Sterilize the ceramic Jar: Simply pour boiling water in the jar till the brim and leave it for 5 mins to sterilize the inner of the jar. Remember, the jar I used was ceramic, so it could stand the heat. Don’t try this if you are using plastic jar
 

3.Clean the grapes: Remove the stem of the grapes. Wash at least 3-4 times in water to ensure all the dirt/dust/chemical sediments from fertilizers and insecticides are removed. Drain the water; if possible spread the grapes on a wide tray to allow it to dry off the excess water.

4.Clean the wheat: Clean the 50 gms of wheat with water, rinse 3-4 times and ensure they are dry again.

Cleaned and dried grapes

Rock and Roll – Part 1

Put the grapes in the jar
Use the wooden smasher to smash the grapes. The motive is to rupture the grapes NOT to juice them. So need not crush them so hard to juice them out, but ensure each grape is ruptured

Pour in the cooled water
Prepare the yeast: Preparing the yeast is simple. Just follow the instructions in the carton to activate the yeast. Take some lukewarm water (40-50 C), say 100 ml water, add 2 tsp of sugar (you can take some off sugar you have set aside already), and add the 15 gms of yeast into it (usually around 3 tea spoons) and mix them well.

Pour the prepared yeast into the jar
Add the wheat into the jar
Add HALF the sugar into the jar.

Use the wooden spoon to mix the contents. You need not try to dissolve the sugar. Just a couple of stirs so that the contents are evenly mixed.

Close the jar with its lid and then wrap plastic covers on top of the jar to make the jar 100% air tight.

Pestle used to rupture the grapes

Wheat added

Closeup shot of the ruptured grapes

Covered and sealed jar

Once you have done this, keep the jar in a cool, dark & dry place. But ensure the jar is accessible. Why accessible? Read on…

Daily Duties:
From Day 1 to Day 21, even if you forget to brush your teeth, you shouldn’t forget to do the things below
Daily, at a set time, you need to carefully open up the jar
Use the wooden spoon to stir the contents, just enough that the contents are evenly mixed. Ensure the spoon is 100% clean and dry every time
Close the jar back, make it airtight and put it back in the cool, dark, dry place where it belongs
This process has to be repeated for the next 21 days, Everyday.

Rock & Roll – Part 2

Here comes the important and little bit difficult part, where again, keeping it clean is the key. This needs to be done around the 22nd day.

Materials / Tools needed
Large, fine holed filter. The ones usually found in juice shops
Disposable Surgical gloves
Somebody to help

Steps Involved
Open up the jar
Slowly pour out the contents of the jar into the filter.
The filtered liquid has to be caught with another clean, sterilized vessel
Glove one hand and squeeze out the soggy half-ruptured grapes, the grape skins and seeds through the filter
Finally after emptying the jar, the clear filtered liquid will be caught in the vessel below
Used the gloved hand to scoop put any sediments left out in the ceramic jar
Then pour the contents of the vessel back into the ceramic jar
Then add the second half (remaining) sugar into the jar and stir lightly
Close the jar, make it air tight as before and put it back into the cool, dry, dark place

Filtering the brew

Squashing the grapes with a gloved sterile hand

Filtered Brew

Patience!! – Wait for another 21 days. The good news is that now no more or opening of jar is required. 21 days is the bare minimum. The older the wine gets, the better. Better means, its tastes better and more importantly it gets stronger!!

Taste it ……. Finally!!
After a total of 42 days, you can open up the jar and gently take out the clear wine on top and fill it up in a sterilized glass bottle.
Usually, the sediments are in the bottom and the clear wine on top. So its important you don’t shake the container too much and just use a small glass to scoop out the clear wine on top. Alternatively you can use a pipette or a siphon mechanism to do so
You needn’t empty the jar. Just take out the clear wine from the top and close the jar airtight and put it right back.
Keep repeating the process, till the wine lasts! Just ensure the jar is airtight everytime you put it back
That’s it, you have officially made wine at home!!!!!

Absolut Wine just used the solid glass bottle of absolut vodka to hold the wine. The wine disappeared (gobbled up) within 20 mins of taking this shot!

Try Variations

In theory any acidic fruit can be used to make wine. Everything from gooseberries, pineapples, strawberries can be used to make wine. The basic fermentation process is as mentioned. So it’s up to you to try variations. You might be lucky to get a good wine sometimes, and other times it might get spoilt. But what the heck, trying is the fun. So please try variations and share the results so that others can try too. I am planning to try the same with white grapes next

Send me a bottle
Share the booze! They say joy spreads when you share it. Send me a bottle once its done. Will raise a toast for you when I drink it !!

Why you should make wine at home
At less than Rs.200 for the ingredients, you get around 4 litres of wine. That’s the cheapest alcohol. Clean, pure, unadulterated liquor. And this wine IS STRONG and 600 ml or 2 ½ glasses guarantees a nice high.
Home made wine, is certainly MUCH MUCH MUCH better than the Golconda wine which you get at TASMAC, which actually is not wine at all.
Making Wine at home is really a wonderful experience and should be taken up at least once with the family.
Wine is always a part of a celebration, plan ahead and make wine just in time for Christmas, birthday or anniversary
Wine making is one of the oldest skills recorded in history and i suppose wine is the oldest alcoholic drink known to man. So be proud that you know how to make it
 Wine making is one of 75 things a man must do at least once in his life time

Let me know your testimony of success and failures trying this. Also let me know if there are any ways to improve or tweak this recipie. Will be very happy to hear if there are any other recipies you may know. Cheers!